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Wednesday, October 1, 2014

What to Expect: Nothing | 39 Weeks Pregnant

Wilder was electively induced at 38 weeks.
Waverley arrived 8 days before her due date.
This child?  This child is still here.  4 days until its estimated ripeness.
(Due date's October 5th.  Sending the baby an eviction notice pronto.)

For some reason I've been poised, on my toes, ready to deliver (which, imagery-wise doesn't make any sense at all) since the start of 37 weeks.  Anticipating.  Expecting.  Ready. And yesterday I was certain THE DAY had arrived.  I did the whole castor oil trick in the morning, sandwiched the day with two walks, had mild, regular contractions starting around 1pm which, excitingly, developed into hardcore surges by 6pm.  From 6pm until we put the kids to bed around 8:45pm, the contractions -which were hard to breath through, coming every 1:30-3:30 min- told me "Hey, we're getting serious here" and I could feel the baby move even further down, very engaged.  But after saying night-night and tucking the critters into bed...put, put, put, pfffttt.  All those exciting surges let up.

I woke up this morning pretty urked, let me tell you.  Pretty. Dang. Tired of expecting.
So?  I'm not expecting today.  I haven't expected a thing, except to wrap up editing a wedding (which did get accomplished, so "Tada!")  And now I'm expecting to have a quiet evening with the kids and Brian.  And tomorrow I'm expecting to get together with a friend and her boys for a little social time, perhaps a walk in the park.  And
...I expect to have a BABY.

Today I ate a crap ton of chocolate (thanks Mom!) and watched episodes of  "Call The Midwife" while I edited -subsequently bawling my eyes out, releasing all those pent up emotions and hormones.  Basically, I fed my girly-girl needs and simply expected to be pregnant today.  And it was a mighty good thing.

I vividly remember being around 7 or 8 years old, waiting for a friend to come over to play.  I had several hours to wile away, so I put on a movie.  Didn't help.  I tried playing the piano.  Didn't help.  I ended up alternating sitting by various windows and pacing (much like our Border Collie, Shelby.)  FINALLY my friend arrived. And I can't even remember who it was or what we did.  It had better have been fun, though, right?  After all that excruciating waiting around?

In the meantime, while we wait for this (big, I'm sure) baby to arrive, I'm trying to make the most of the time I have with the three precious people around me.  We've been snuggling, playing, talking, walking -just living life, and me attempted to do it a bit more purposefully.
And part of me is sad.  Sitting on the couch at night with Brian in the quiet of the evening -it'll be years before that'll happen again (alone.)  Having one on one time with my babies will be a luxury, and it will be several months before we're able to have that again.

It's the beginning of something new.  And it's also an end.  Mamas, sometimes we need to grieve that part, just as much as we are thrilled for the new chapter. 
Life is about to change drastically for each of my family members.  It's something new, and it's beautiful.  And I'm so glad that each of us will be part of it.
It will happen.

In the meantime, wanna see some photos?

Wilder had an audition for a grocery store commercial.  When I asked him on our way there if he liked auditioning he said no.  Hm.  "So, do you want this to be your last audition?"
The man has spoken.  Still, he had a pretty fun time.

Shelby and the bump and I, 38 weeks pregnant.

How I felt after my 38 week check up last week.  Captioned: Done.

Waverley has been my main walking buddy these past few days as I attempt to keep my back in shape and kickstart contractions.  I've truly loved getting outside and having special time with her.  She's a wonderful, energetic buddy.  Though she is in a "collecting" phase and wants to constantly stop to grab "special" leaves, rocks, flowers, sticks, etc.  Piles and piles of nature we have 'round here now...

On Sunday (Sept 28th, the day I had my heart set on to go into labor) we had THE BEST family day with MiMa and Boppa.  A clean house, quality game time and visiting, a trip to Berry Springs Park, treated to a marvelous dinner at the kids' favorite Italian restaurant -I mean, this day was fabulous!  It would have been magical to have a baby that evening.  But, you know, I'm still pregnant... ahem, ahem, Baby.

39 weeks pregnant.  The roundest I've been yet.

A sunset walk with Wilder and Shelby.  I treasured this rare time alone with my Baby Bear.  He never wants to go on walks anymore, but it's something we used to do all the time from when he was a baby onward.  He's growing up so much, consumed in his own little world as he has a grand ability to focus on his interests with undivided attention for hours upon hours.  This will always be a very sweet memory of time spent together.

And now?  I'm going to snuggle some little people, kiss that handsome husband, and finish (most likely the last) novel I'll have my hands on for quite some time.

And I'm not expecting ANYTHING tonight.

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