I was getting ready for bed and all of a sudden my brain began making lists of things I adore and despise. Better than love/hate, because that's just too definitive. Adore/despise is flexible, as in Anne despised Gilbert, but grew to adore him and they eventually got married.
Adore/Despise. And so it goes...
Peace and quiet
Extremely long, extremely hot showers
Cozy cups of tea
My rockstar husband
The cutest, silliest kids on the planet, who I happened to give birth to
Peace and quiet. Wait, did I say that already?
Creating of all sorts and kinds. Sometimes trouble.
The sensation of connecting with wilderness and being utterly free
Road trips and Adventures
Antiques and vintage-y things
My extended family
Instant gratification. Let's be honest -I'm an immediate sort of person.
Creative, inspiring and positive people who see possibilities and go for them.
Sleeping in vintage slips.
Crisp air in the morning.
All sorts of wonderful scents -like coffee brewing, a clean house, Waverley's hair after she wakes up, lemon candles my mother sends me, crisping bacon, the knees of jeans after they've been worn (now I'm just getting all sorts of weird. I'll stop there.)
Negative, vocal people
Being pressured into purchasing things
"LOUD NOISES!" (quote, anyone? Anyone?)
Putting Christmas decorations away
The very word "organize" and all it means
Disappointing people (but it happens and I must get over it)
Doing dishes and laundry (so I don't do either and I'm a dirty person)
Thinking of things I despise, so I'll stop there.
I spent a little time tonight on the good ol' internet catching up on some of my favorite sites and I got hooked on a fashion/style site that features fashionistas' personal closets. I was reminded of a girl I went to college with -an art major named Amber- who was the pinnacle of style in the most avant-garde sense, and who I oh-so wished I could be like somehow. I may not have become an "Amber" but viewing these very personal style shoots, peering into closets of the artistic-minded, made me feel so free and, well, European, for lack of a better descriptor. I connected with the deep, very alive part of me that is creative and expressive and loves to live and be exercised. I was inspired. I was challenged. I was transported to a part of me that I want to be awake more often -every day. That "French" side of me that lives honestly, boldly, creatively and fully.
Perhaps I needed to meander a bit to find where I am. Here. In the full spectrum, color-wheel of Kelly.
Adoring and despising and creating and growing. The learning never ceases.
Perfect love casts out all fear. I want to live and give in such love.