Mow Power To You

Yesterday, with Wilder in a front carrier, I conquered our lawn. It was my first time cutting our lawn in Texas, though I have mowed often enough in my lifetime to not be a complete ninny at it. In Jr. High and High School it was often my job to tackle our lawn. But that was with a gas, power mower. This time was with an electric mower.

Last summer in Alaska Brian bought this electric mower for two reasons: 1) a gas mower may be hard to ship when we move down to Texas and 2) it's a heck of a lot cheaper. I am not sure that he had ever mowed a lawn before. He didn't grow up with a yard (they lived on a steep slope with lots of woods) and therefore didn't get your typical lessons in mowing before he made this very grown up purchase of a lawn mower. Since he was excited about finally getting to mow a lawn -HIS lawn- I deferred to his preference.

Now that he won't be mowing for quite awhile, I would like to appeal his choice. We have a substantial lawn. I have a baby. Having to push this electric mower (since it's not self propelled like the gas ones I grew up operating), while carrying Wilder AND navigating that stupid orange extension cord.... it's a herculean effort. BUT- I conquered it!!! I kicked that lawn's ass and did it in style.

I admit I couldn't stop thinking about how I would like to yell at my husband for buying such a STUPID lawn mower and how all I wanted was a beer, but by the time I was finished I felt empowered. You see, I had begun to be afraid at night in our big, empty house. I was the helpless little wifey left alone on the ranch with the baby, awaiting her strong man to come home and rescue her. But here, up to my ankles in over grown grass, my hands numb from the mower's vibrations, I was taking ownership, taking charge, doing the hard stuff around the house that I always could do, but Brian helped with. Seeing how capable I truly am and taking care of my wonderful home has helped me on my (hopefully short) journey to fearlessness. I wanted to shout out, "Watch out, bad guys! I mowed my lawn with that silly toy mower and I can kick your butts -so don't even THINK of coming around here! Yeah, that's right! Just keep out if you want to keep your manly parts!"

Yes, as a military wife with a deployed husband, there is no room for sissiness. It's okay to watch chick flicks and bawl your eyes out, then write sappy love letters to your soldier, but we also have to take on the man's role of family protector while our guys are away. I'm getting in touch with my pioneer spirit, rifle ready for any big bears that lurk in the dark night, baking bread in the morning and feeding the chickens... okay, so not quite, but who knew that mowing my lawn would spark this much needed sense of strength and security? I sure didn't, but I'm very thankful for it.

I'm just glad not to feel helpless. And I'm thinking about taking some martial arts classes just to get a healthy dose of testosterone on a weekly bases. We'll see about that, but for now I am thankful that my killer mowing experience has translated into a much needed confidence boost.