Fourth of July | Homeslice | "Everyone, come and see how good I look!" -Ron Burgundy

It has certainly been awhile since I did a "homeslice" session -capturing a slice of daily life at random times throughout the year.  So, what better day than to grab the essence of our family celebrating our nation's birthday?

And, I also begged Brian to take some of me and my belly bump.  And then Waverley begged to take some, too, so you'll see a little of her (quite descent for a 4 1/2 year old) shots of me with the dog.  She's beginning her apprenticeship early.

 

Waverley.  Halfway through age 4 and still one heck of a combination of Princess+Firecracker.  She hasn't lost her love of Wilder's clothes, and her favorite recliner which she will kick ANYONE out of if they haven't been invited personally by her to lounge in.

Wilder, age 6 3/4.  Lego and Minecraft fanatic.  That just about sums him up.

Eating "wapples."

My little artist.  She loves coloring and drawing -her skills have grown in leaps and bounds in the past month alone.  That's one of the awesome things about being a parent.  Seeing how your children pick things up, watching stuff "click," and seeing them progress in areas that fascinate them.  I've really enjoyed the creativity I've been afforded by doing doodles with her. 

FYI, coloring is so therapeutic.  I'm thinking of sending coloring books to all the adult women in my family for Christmas gifts.  

"MINECRAFT!" (said in a gritty, overly dramatic male voice.)

I have always loved my babies toes.

Wilder at his perma-perch.  

Shelby at her perma-perch.  Apparently when I'm out working this dog does not leave her station at the top of the stairs.  For days.  Brian has to put the leash on her to get her downstairs and outside.  She's my "besfrien."

Once again bringing out the gritty, overly dramatic male voice:  "The DEATH STAR.  With CONSTRUCTIONS."  Thanks to Wilder, we've rid "instructions" from our vocabulary and replaced it with what -honestly, now- really makes the most sense.  After all, it is about how to build something, isn't it?

Shameless "photographer taking a picture of her taking a picture" picture.  Really, it was all for the bump.

She don't wear no shirt, Pa.

Like, ever.

Now it's my turn.  "Hey, Everybody, look at me!  It's the Kelly Show!"

But, honestly, I am so so so so SO happy for these!  And so thankful for Brian's patience and willingness to indulge me.  This pregnancy has been so different from the previous and I really wanted some photos to document the journey.  I've crossed the threshold to the 3rd trimester.  (I think I have -27 weeks as of yesterday.  I stink at math.  You figure it out.)

Okay, we may look like refugees, but I adore having Mommy Snuggle shots with Wavey.  I'm officially giving the camera to Brian on a regular basis so I can have more of these.

And then we loaded up and headed to MiMa and Boppa's for a family celebration!

Betty's Flag Cake was such a hit with Waverley who got to help with "deckayrations."  I love these sweet moments together!

(Shoot, I married a good lookin' man!  You know what gets me?  After nearly 10 years together, I still on a daily basis look at him and think, "HOT DANG!"  That's a good sign, I'd say.)

"UNCLE BEAR!!!"  

The kids *LOVE* their Uncle Bear.  When Brian told them that he was coming to the party they seriously flipped with excitement.  He's one of those rockstar uncles who plays and plays and plays and plays with them all day long.  And we all love him for it!  (THANK YOU, BEAR!)

(I'll probably be strangled for posting this, but -hey- it's my blog, I can brag on my hot hubby.  

Insert wolf whistle here.

The GrillMasters whipped up an amazing spread paired with MiMa's overflowing array of deliciousness.  Holy. Moly.  I'm proud to be an American, where at least I know I can eat as much as I can stuff in my tummy.  (And it was all AMAZINGLY DELICIOUS!)

And that's us!

Captain Hook Shops at Walmart -and- Let's Not Talk About Eating Meat

Wilder's hilarity has been boundless recently.  I have a few little tidbits from the last 24 hours I couldn't help but share.

Last night while watching "Peter Pan" Wilder turns to me,
"Mama, Captain Hook don't want the crocodile to eat his other hand, or he'll have to get another one at Walmart."

I laughed for the next hour.
Walmart?  (Now you all know where we frequent.)


Last weekend we had the joy of visiting Brian's sister and her family in Houston.  She gave the kids their own sleeping bags to take back home and they experienced their first slumber party with their cousins.

SINCE THEN... Wilder and Waverley have insisted on sleeping in their sleeping bags on the floor in their bedroom.

Last night around 9:45 (bedtime for them is 9pm, lights off) I walked into my bedroom to take a shower.  After turning on the light I was startled to find an Angry Birds sleeping bag and a little blonde head poking out with a silly grin on Wilder's face.

"What are you doing?"

"I wanted to surprise you!"

"Well, you did!"

"Mama, I sleep here tonight and I want to make a castle and rainbow and spaceship for you for your birthday, but (BIG SIGH and pause)... it will take FOREVER," he ended with a defeated frown.

"Oh, wow!  That sounds really neat -but it's okay.  I love that you wanted to make me all of those things.  That's very special."

Later as I was getting into bed, Wilder comes up and says, "Mama, I want to tell the baby goodnight."
He leaned in toward my tummy and sweetly wished him goodnight.

A minute later I hear him quietly singing.
"Mama, I can't stop thinking about that song from the Lego movie, 'Everything is Awesome.'  I can hear it in my brain!"
He begins whacking his head with his Angry Birds pillow.  "I'm trying to stop the song."
"Try thinking of another song, like 'Row, row, row your boat' or 'Old MacDonald."
"Oh, yes.  Old MacDonald."

I think that helped because it was the last I heard from him before he fell asleep.
________________________

"I'm going to be a good big brother.  I'm going to help take care of the new baby and teach it how to do things."

This morning Wilder was up an hour earlier than usual.  He scampered over to Brian, leaned in, gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, "Good morning, Papa!"  He repeated the same with me (OH, how my heart melted!!) and then came close to my belly and told the baby Good Morning.
_________________________

Usually I go on morning walks with Waverley and the dog, but since Wilder was up early he asked if he could beat her to it and we could go on an adventure together.
Walking round the neighborhood, he spied a worm being eaten by ants.  We started talking about how animals help take care of the earth by scavenging and then started talking about carnivores and predators.  Somehow I started on about humans eating meat.

"We eat cows. Like in our hamburgers-"
"COWS?!"
"Yes, cows.  Hamburger is made from cows.  And chicken mcnuggets are made from chicken.  And eggs come from chi-"
And he interrupts, saying very matter of fact, "No, no, no.  I don't want to hear it, Mama.  That's disgusting."

_________________________

Is There Womb for Three? (No, I'm not having triplets) | Bonded | Pregnancy at 20 weeks

The pregnancy is halfway through.  I think we finally settled on a name today and finally -*finally*- it's all feeling real.  And acceptable.

I'll be honest with you.  When we decided to try to have another baby, there wasn't a whole lot of planning put into it -not a lot of debating.  Plenty of warm fuzzies and "awh, wouldn't it be sweet"s but not a lot of forethought.  Usually we have a month of trying and the following cycle we're in baby making business.  It was different this time.
This time, I got pregnant within 2 weeks of "Awwwwhhh...wouldn't it be sweet."

Bam!

Not that it's a bad thing.  At ALL.  It's just a totally different situation that I've been in before.

I had the luxury of not having much on my plate while pregnant with Wilder and Waverley.  I wasn't working besides acting and my hobbies.  There was (seemingly) endless (especially with Wilder's) amounts of time to soak in the radiance and quietness of pregnancy.  Pregnancy yoga DVDs, naps, all the baby related movies I could get my hands on, reading countless books, dreaming of the things my children and I would once do after they'd reached certain ages.

I kinda want to go find that Kelly and shake her.
I was one lucky lady to get to enjoy those periods.  I mean, fer real, while pregnant with Wilder I WAS MAKING QUILTS and watching musicals all day.  (Pardon me while I mourn the passing of those quiet times in my house.  Sniff.)

It's different now.  There's worry about work.  There's balancing of life.  There's opportunities missed.  And, I'll be frank (hi, nice to meet you,) there's also some fear.

Will I have as much love for this baby as I've had for my other two?
Will I be able to make the time to be both a good mother and a good business owner?
Will I be able to keep my sanity?

And the chorus of other mother's all said, "Yes!"
I know it's true, but it certainly feels surreal.  And with all that's going on with work/life now, it is scary thinking about bringing another little person in this hecticness. (Spell check things that's not a word.  It is.)

And I'm selfish.  I want to be with my baby, to breastfeed as much as possible, to just focus on my little one and my other medium and big people, to take a break and just be a woman.
It's okay for me to admit that I want those things.   Most mothers do once they give birth and see how captivating their little miracles are.  Priorities get rearranged once you understand that all the other stuff is so meaningless compared to family.
Well, a paycheck is nice.  That's caring for your family, too.

So I'm trying to psych myself up for the inevitable balancing act of working right up til and right after giving birth.  Please, I'm not moaning about my situation -it is a wonderful and really amazing life we've been able to create as a photographer and stay-at-home dad.  It's awesome that we have the opportunity to all be together so often and the kids have such a uniquely strong relationship with their daddy.  It's good, but it ain't easy and it's okay to say, "Hey, I get worried.  I get stressed out.  I get overwhelmed and want to give up sometimes, too.  It's just how I feel."

And today (whaddya know?  She's finally getting back to her point!) the metaphorical clouds lifted and I began feeling towards this new family member what I had felt earlier on with each of the kids as they were in the womb.  I finally connected with the quiet peace and bond of my baby.
My baby named....
(Ha!  Still not sharing. Brian's insistence, so you can punch him, not me.)

A Working Vacation: South Padre Island

I have the fun job of shooting weddings, and this weekend's wedding is at a perfect family fun destination:  South Padre Island, TX.  We loaded up the family and drove 6 hours to the coast.  Funny enough, we ended up (unintentionally) at the same hotel as my couple, which is fabulously convenient. This morning I had a chance to document a bit of the coastal joy.  Wilder experienced his first jelly fish sting of his 6th year of life (he covered his 5th year's sting in Galveston) and we're busy building sand mountains and meeting new kids to splash with.

Waverley usually firmly states within the first 5 hours of being somewhere new, "I want to go home!" but this trip she's declared, "Mama, I LOVE our new house!"  Our new house being a single room at La Quinta.

Last night after time on the beach and in the (wonderfully heated) pool, the kids snuggled up on the couch with me, watching a movie on TV while Brian went on a grocery trip.  Contently flanked by both of my sweet ones, I felt for the first time in a very definitive way the baby kick multiple times.  It was a moment of pure bliss.  My family <3

We're determined to squeeze in as much fun as we can and I am so thankful for our mini-(working)-vacation!

The Day Off. Again | PhotoGoobers, I mean 'Photo Booth Fun With Children'

Today we partied, kinda.  Well, I spent the majority of the day on the computer doing things I know I couldn't accomplish that I wanted to before my next day off, and in between the kids and I partied.

First off were silly portraits a la photobooth style.  And, just like grown ups at weddings I shoot, all these kids wanted to do was try things on.  And not take pictures.  But, hey!  They had fun!

The next event of the day was creating a fort out of Waverley's bottom bunk with blankets, grabbing a backpack of snacks (sshhh, don't tell Brian we ate in their room,) the classic comedic adventure film "The Great Race" with Tony Curtis and Natalie Wood and my laptop for a cozy movie time.  They lasted a shocking 53 minutes before calling it quits.  And we headed outside for a round of kickball before having dinner and watching a family movie.

And at some point during the day I went to the bathroom.  Several times.

(I noticed the laundry list, so I wanted you to *know* I had a bit of relief today.  Rest assured.)

She did it.  And she likes it.
Her strength of character and confidence -fingers crossed she keeps it through life because, judging from how she is now, I see NO problems in the future.

The Day Off -the tradition continues.

Sandbox | Sugar Highs | Balancing Acts

Spring is a funny thing in Texas.  March never quite cooperates -it has, let's say, PMS.  80 degrees one day, 43 the next.  But the grass is growing, trees are blossoming and the kids are finally coming out of the house like little moles entering daylight after hibernation.

Do moles hibernate?

Brian made a sand circle for the kids and it's been quite a hit.  My favorite part is when the dog drops her slimy tennis ball in the sand pit and wants you to throw it for her, covered like a sugared donut, but not as tasty.  Yeah.  My favorite.

The last two weeks have been quite busy and time with the kiddlets has been, unfortunately, limited.  After a very filled weekend, I stole half a day to play with the kiddos.  Wavey and I had a picnic, built blanket tents in the living room, had a few Motown kitchen dance parties, and, of course, colored.  

Brian grabbed a snap of the essence of our Waverley.  Note her "power bands" on her wrists (they give her super powers.)  Just a typical day with our daughter.

After a full work day last week (I think, the days are running together,) I grabbed Waverley and we checked out a new art gallery, then spent some quality time at the library.  I asked one librarian if she had a favorite author for children's books -something that kids would like to read before bed.  Between her and another librarian, we left with 35 books.  THIRTY. FIVE. BOOKS.  

Yes, I'm a professional photographer.  And, yes, this shot is upside down.  I am using the "lazy" defense.

There's a new candy shop in town and I simply had to take the kids there this Sunday for a bit of a sugar high.  Sweet Tooth Candy and Cafe sells retro candy, sodas, fresh handmade beverages (like the fresh ginger soda I fell in love with,) ice cream and coffee drinks.  With tunes from the 60s-80s filling the store, you truly feel like a kid in a candy shop, surrounded by new and old favorites from childhood. 

And I think the kids had fun, too.

Fun fact:  the owner's wife was operating the store while we were visiting.  She's a former professional ballroom dancer with 3 kids and a full time joy with a computer/technology company.

Now you know.

I have Zombinies.

So, last post I was feeling an ennui regarding business and photography, yes?  Last Tuesday I shot the prettiest, most exciting, most involved shoot of my life.  With three models, florals and props by Robin Leddy of A Gilded Affair, fashion styling by the renowned Edith Henry, designer dresses by Sarah Eileen, and hair and make up by Thelma of Divaz Fabula shot at (above) Chateau Bellevue -it was ridiculously fabulous!!  I certainly got my joy back through the experience.  (The above photo was from my walk-through with Robin the week before the shoot as I was planning my shot list and design for the day.)

I'll be submitting the photos to national fashion magazines for publication -a new venture for me, since everything I've done has mainly been wedding related.  I'm a bit nervous about it all, but also confident in the quality of the work we did and excited for whatever comes of it.  Being able bring a vision to fruition through collaboration with excellent people -what a feeling of accomplishment!

The Spring season is hopping and I'll be overwhelmingly busy.  Again.  But it's a good thing!  With four weddings next month a quite a few large shoots, I'm looking forward to the summer when I'm caught up.  I'll admit, it is a little nerve wracking being pregnant and out of commission for weddings during Sept/Oct -2 months that usually make up at least 1/3 of our annual income.  But I have faith that all things will come together and work out for the best.  All you can do is keep planning and moving forward -worrying only depletes your energy.

Something wonderful: I have so many friends in the wedding industry who are also pregnant and the sense of community and female strength/unity has been simply beautiful.  I've felt before like I have to apologize to everyone for being pregnant.  Some people have asked in slightly accusatory tones, "Well, were you trying to get pregnant?" As if it was a negative situation.  It's a challenging one, but come on: (And this is as much to myself as to anybody) What's more important?  Your business or your life?

When you are your career -the two are inseparable- it is hard to not feel apologetic to those you serve.  "I'm so sorry, I'm pregnant and I won't be available for this time frame."  But let's look at it as "Closed For Renovations."  Improvements.  

We as a family are quite, hot dang excited to have a new little person joining our family.  I couldn't do it without Brian helming the household.  We've finally -after 4 years- become comfortable and quite happy with our role reversal.  It's been a huge change of our world views -not that we were of a 1950s mindset; there are just subconscious messages you learn about what women do and what men do as you grow up.  It takes time to shed those and be comfortable and confident in creating your own rules for how you live your life, and we are quite happy now with our -dare I say- balance.

Balance has been illusive and a constant race to catch.  It feels wonderful having some sense of it now.

Painted Ladies | 10 Weeks Pregnant | Funky (in that order)

I know.  We're prettiful. 

Today was (hip hooray) the weekly family day, which meant crazy activities were mandatory.  Face painting, dress up, dancing around the living room to Celtic Women on PBS, and (not so crazy) a wonderful family movie time to see Mr. Peabody and Sherman in theater.  Brian's braved the movies with the kids twice in the past several weeks and they've done amazingly well, so it was (inexpressibly) a super sweet treat to get to have Wilder snuggled up on my lap as I ate all the Dots and Milk Duds and we had a family theater experience.

I loved it.

I loved it.

I loved it.

And the movie was okay. ;)

Wilder got a hair cut -I know, you were ALL DYING TO KNOW.  These are "#latergrams" I pulled off my phone because, really, I wanted to share the belly shot at the bottom and thought -heck- I guess I'll pop a few shots of my kids on here, too.

But the hair cut, it was kind of a big deal. A la Pinocchio, he looks like a real boy now.  Waverley saw his 'do and insisted she get a hair cut, too.  I chopped (read butchered) her bangs, so she got in on the action. (As seen in the first photo, those below are pre-chop chop.)

Pierre.

Hey, she asked me.  I do as I'm told.

(But I loved the result -it was SO hard to take her seriously.  Impossible.)

Alrighty folks, time for all the mommy-to-be-again talk.  10.5 weeks and this thing shows up.

The bump.

I went to pop some tags at Ross's because this here belly is bustin' outta ma pants.  And, really?  Who needs waistlines?  NOT. ME.  I hope to have nothing to do with waistlines for the next 6 months.  Hence my new collection of cotton maxi dresses and spandex leggings.  And oversized tank tops.

I'M KIND OF EXCITED!  No more sucking in.  Flaunt that belly!

And I don't know if it's because of having a 3rd child, or it just being this time in my life, but I'm feeling a lack of zest, passion, pizzaz and oomph about where I am.  And direction.  And I'm mentally exhausted.  Physically, I'm feeling just fine.  No complaints.  But someone could offer me a new job that plays to my strengths and I'd be quite happy working for someone else instead of myself.  I felt this way last year, though, around this time.  So, it may just be a cycle.  I have those.

It's okay to admit you're tired of carrying something.  I'm feeling quite tired of carrying a business, but -sure enough- I'll be shooting weddings every weekend for the next two months and will forget all about being tired in this way and be tired -and happy- in another way.

My acting teacher noted how every day he realizes how lucky he is that he get to be a creative person in his employment.  It hit me, I've got the very same thing to be thankful for.  And I am!  I am so thankful that I get to be my own boss, that I get to work with so many wonderful people on such a personal level, that I get to impact lives with beauty and tell their stories, that I get to be in the love business -in a very positive industry.  It's not like I'm a mortician.  Or a divorce lawyer.  Or a social worker (sorry, social workers, but your job is not enviable.)  I get to be an actress and a photographer.

I'M A LUCKY PERSON.  But it also means I work my ass off (which is why I have none) doing what I do.  Then again, I ain't diggin' ditches, I'm not raising cattle, I'm not making the donuts (though that might be kind of fun.)  

Life is flavorful, and I like it that way.  Right now, I'm ready for a break -which is something only I can give myself.  Even though I'm approaching the busiest season of the year, a mental break and rejuvenation is far more needed than an actual vacation.  What I need is to cleanse my brain, refocus, take stock of all the precious things, opportunities and -most of all- people in my life and I'll be ready to skip forward like those crazy cats in Wizard of Oz as they traversed the Yellow Brick Road.

And now... I'm watching Netflix.