I know, you've had your head slightly tilted wondering what in the heck I think I'm doing making so many big plans, expecting a new baby and going 100 miles an hour. Okay, 150. I know I've been needing to put on the breaks and it's slowly been coming to that until yesterday -when I came to a screeching halt.
Yesterday around 3pm my sciatic nerve clinched me and I was left helpless on the living room floor, bawling my eyes out -which of course made Wilder go bananas. It hurt (understatement) to move, but I managed to drag myself to my cell phone, which thankfully was right next to the TV and DVD remotes, and eventually pull myself on to the couch while I waited for Brian to come home. I prayed that Wilder wouldn't get into anything or hurt himself and thankfully by the time Brian got home (around 4:30pm) he -and the house- were in tact.
Poor Brian was just coming off 3 full days and nights living outdoors in cold, wet Texas weather -the coldest week we've had this season- and had to come home to a toddler and helpless wife, so helpless he had to carry me to the restroom and back. He is such a trooper (another understatement.) In a way it was a taste of life for the first week or so after Waverley is born, but I am planning on still being able to at least walk myself to the restroom. Or crawl. I'd happily crawl. Being immobile is terrifying, especially when you have a toddler to take care of and a to do list that seems as long as your arm. But there I lay, watching Christmas movies while Brian chased, fed, chased, bathed, chased and bedded Wilder down for the night.
After about 6 hours I regained mobility, took a hot shower to further relax my back and soon after went to bed. I am petrified of this happening again and have been taking all precautions to ensure to the best of my ability that it does not reoccur.
The point is this was a big, fat sign to slow the heck down, take stock in what is really important, and also realize my limitations. I'm still figuring it all out, but it's clear to me that I need to keep remembering that I'm not what I do, but who I am. And it's not so much what I do, but how I invest in other's lives. Both of these things I want to focus on, particularly in this special season of love.
Thank you for your prayers